YoGPoD Liners
Throughout the YoGPoD there are small segments that act as transitions from one topic to another. These usually consist of Simon Lane voicing one of his many impersonations or original characters to shamelessly self-promoting the YoGPoD. Simon Music starts playing Simon: 'You're listening to the YoGPoD. ''Music fades out Brian Blessed's Wife Music starts playing '''Hildegarde Neil: HELLO! I'M BRIAN BLESSED'S WIFE! AND I LISTEN TO THE YOGPOD! GOODBYE! Simon and Lewis laugh Music fades out iTunes Music starts playing iTunes: '"Beep beep boop boop boop be beep beep boop boop boop. This is your iTunes speaking. Thank you for listening to YoGPoD. I enjoy listening to YoGPoD. Thank you! Be be be boop boop." ''Music fades out French Man Accordion Music starts playing '''French Man: 'Allo, you are leesening, to the YoGPoD. C'est bon! C'est tres bon! Ohn Hohn Hohn Hohn. Accordion Music fades out Follow-up Tequila MIDI starts playing French Man: 'Allo, I am a mex-ee-cawn, an' you are leesening, to the YoGPoD. Lewis needed: I don't think that's what a Mexican sounds like. Tequila MIDI fades out J.K. Rowling Music starts playing Child: Mummy! Mummy! Can I listen to the YoGPoD? J.K. Rowling: FUCK OFF! Child: Mummy! No! Simon goes from doing the sad child voice to laughing Music fades out Simon: 'Obviously, that's J.K. Rowling and her child. ''Lewis laughs Kenny Baker Music starts playing '''Kenny Baker: 'ello, this is Kenny Baker and I listen to the YoGPoD. Music fades out Lewis laughs Simon: '''That is just weird. '''Lewis: You wanna say, this is Kenny Baker, and then what he's famous for. Music starts playing Kenny Baker: 'Hello, this is Kenny Baker. I'm famous for being a dwarf and I listen... ''Simon and Lewis start laughing midway through the sentence Music fades out '''Lewis: No... Simon and Lewis continue laughing Music starts playing Simon: 'Hello... ''Simon starts laughing almost instantly Music fades out 'Simon: '''God, I can't do it now. ''Music starts playing Kenny Baker: 'ello, this is Kenny Baker and I'm famous for being the dwarf who was inside of R2D2 in the Star Wars franchise of movies. And I listen to the YoGPoD. Music fades out Lewis laughs Michael MacDonald 'Peter Maziotti: '''This is Michael MacDonald and I listen to the YoGPoD all day! A man ''Music starts playing '''Man: I'm a man, and when I'm not 'avin' a pint in the pub or working on t' building site, I listen t' YoGPoD. Music fades out Old man who's fallen over Music starts playing Old man: I'm an old man and I've fallen over. I can't get up. But it's alright, because I've got me iPod and I'm listening to the YoGPoD. Oooh, me back. Oh God, oh God. Music fades out Simon and Lewis laugh Simon: '''That was pretty funny. '''Lewis: That was very funny. Old man with haemorrhoids while riding a horse Music starts playing Lewis: Who else have we forgotten? Um... Can you do... Simon: It's gonna be something ridiculous. You're gonna gi... You're gonna say: "Old man with haemorrhoids who's riding a horse," and I'm going to be like "What?!?" Lewis laughs Lewis: Can you do that? Simon: Oh God. Han... hang on... See if I can... I wanted to make some kind of, like, noise that sounds like I'm on a horse. Lewis: You need some coconuts or something. Simon uses an unspecified object to make tapping sounds Simon: That's too... tinny, isn't it. Hang on. Simon begins tapping his keyboard with a comb Old man: I'm an old man, with haemorrhoids... Simon doesn't finish and starts laughing Lewis laughs Simon (laughing): 'This is ridiculous. This is utterly ridiculous. What am I doing? I'm hitting my fucking keyboard with a comb! ''Music fades out Follow-up The single time the above liner was used, the following short liner was used as the next one. Music starts playing Sounds of Simon tapping the keyboard with a comb can be heard '''Lewis: Can you do... Music fades out Queen Elizabeth II Music starts playing The Queen: 'Hello? I am her royal highness Queen Elizabeth II. And this YoGPoD is by royal appointment. Hello? Hello? One fancies a Jaffa Cake. Mmm. ''Music fades out Russian caveman Music starts playing '''Russian/Caveman: '''You listen YoGiPoD. '''Simon: '''I don't know what that is. '''Lewis: Is that a caveman or a Russian? Simon: '''I don't know. '''Russian caveman: Russian caveman, YoGPoD, YoGiPoD. Music fades out Simon's Uncle Music starts playing Bill: 'I'm Soimon's uncle, and when I'm not running away from spoiders, or fahrming, or cleaning up pig sheet, I like listening to the YoGParD. ''Lewis laughs 'Lewis: '"Pig sheet"? 'Simon: '''Yeah.... fuck. ''Music fades out Tina Barrett Music starts playing 'Tina Barrett: '''Ooh, hello. I'm Tina Barrett formerly of S Club 7. I still have yet to release my... my debut solo album because, it's not really going very well, but, um, in the meanwhile I like to listen to the YoGPoD. Ooh, it's, it's really good, ooh... Lewis and Simon... are really amazing. Goodbye. ''Simon barely finishes and starts laughing Music fades out Lewis laughs 'Lewis '(laughing):' Goodbye. ''Simon and Lewis laugh Lewis: 'I don't know why I said goodbye there. ''Simon laughs Lewis laughs 'Lewis: '''I just, I just felt like it was polite. Robotic Tina Barrett ''Music starts playing '''Text-to-speech engine: Hello, I'm Tina Barrett from S Club 7 and I listen to the YoGPoD. Music fades out Warwick Davis Music starts playing Warwick Davis: ''ello! I'm Warwick Davis and I'm in a sewer, but I still listen to the YoGPoD. '''Simon: '''And what you can do is you can actually add like an echo-ey sound effect onto that. ''Lewis laughs Simon laughs 'Lewis '(laughing): 'Or just... ni, n... not. '''Simon: '''Maybe some dripping water. ''Simon and Lewis laugh Music fades out